Thursday, 15 July 2010

Fire and Ice

Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Crush it , break it Apart !!!

Can you count all the times
That you've mended my heart
Just so you could again Crush it, Break it apart?

Yet, you've got no idea
That I'm hurt all the while
Cause I hide all my pain
With a laugh and a smile

All my rage and frustration
They are secrets to you

I'm a pretty good actor

Cause you don't have a clue

I have made it an art

It's greatest learned skill
Hiding all of this damn Fuckin pain that I feel
Yet sometimes it leaks through

Sometimes I botch my act
Sometimes you see my pain
Sometimes I can't hold back

I regret if you noticed

I didn't wanna seem shallow

But sometimes it's too much

It's more than I can swallow

Monday, 5 July 2010

When it isn’t like it should be

It’s July now. True, i totally agree- time flies. Now I’m doing my psychiatry cycle and its been 3 weeks now. I met a lot of interesting people since I’m in this hospital. I admit it’s hard to communicate with the patient there but once u get to know them, it sooo fascinating how their life seems so perfect before they get sick mentally. And how stupid our community didn’t know how to support those people.

There is one very amazing young boy i met in the hospital. When i when to ward, i saw him from far away, he was sitting alone, while his head looking at the dirt. His face looks like he got a thousand things in his mind. So i when near him and introduced myself. He seems so normal at first, but after an hour and half we talked. I knew something wrong with him. He got this amazing theory on how on earth he is a messenger from God, how he was chosen by God, and why. Everything seems so perfect in his story. It surely does can make a blockbuster movie. I can’t reviled his story here in public, its a doctor-patient confidential thingy.

My working diagnose for him is Schizophrenia Paranoid.

This evening I met his lovely mother, we talked. I asked her how he really is before he got sick. Then his mom told me everything. He is a brilliant boy! He even got a scholarship in his school every year since junior high school. He a very cheerful boy who loves football and play games with friends. He is loved by all, even his neighbours cause he likes to help people. Then when she told me his story, she broke down and tears running from her eyes. It shows how sad she is because her beloved son who seems so perfect can get this so called crazy-disease. All his dreams vanished and he seems no sign of recovery for the past years.

I surely learn a lot from today’s lesson. So live according to your reality without always envisioning the ideal life, one that is free from worry and toil. Accept life as it is and adapt accordingly to all circumstances.

“And It May Be That You Dislike A Thing That Is Good For You” Qur’an 2:216